Home is Where the Heart is

I find my self coming closer and closer to graduation. 2011 used to be so far away - yet it's becoming painfully obvious that it looms in the VERY near future. What happened to high school football games and late night drives around my small town? I swear I was just there. 

I can remember being a freshmen, green to the world and the college experience. I had absolutely no clue what my major was going to be, but I knew this was the place I was going to find out. 

You see, San Marcos, TX and Texas State University stole my heart when I was 16 and we evacuated to Wimberley, TX from hurricane Rita. My dad will you tell you that was the dumbest thing we did , because evacuating to a house with a river in the back yard wouldn't have been helpful if we had gotten any part of the storm. But I think it was fate. I believe certain places have a soul, a presence that speaks to you and you will never get what it tells you out of your head. From the moment we arrived, I fell in love. The hill country is where I wanted to call home. But I digress. 

A semester in, I had changed my major in my head several times. Aquatic biology, math, education and music were just a few of the majors I had at one point decided on. My parents can tell you just how upset this made me, because they were the one's who got the crying phone calls from a confused college student. I count my blessing every single damn day that I had parents who were patient enough to 1. Let me make my own mistakes and 2. for never hanging up on me during those stressful, tear-filled phone calls. 

With a lot of stress, tears and love I made it through my first year at Texas State. I remember being very proud and astonished. 18 is very young to be out on your own. Sophomore year was a blur, I made mistakes I wish I could take back, including a boyfriend and an awful hair cut. 

Junior year was my year, I made the Dean's list and had finally chosen and officially declared my major - public relations. I felt like that subject had Caitlyn written all over it. But it included four semesters of a foreign language. It was then that I realized how shitty some of the classes I had to take would be. Including the evil, Espanol. I also got my first internship. This was the year that I had to repeat in my head the words my dad often spoke to me, "A degree shows so much more than an education. It's about perseverance. Every year, semester and day there will be a reason to quit."  I never felt like I had an option of being a college graduate, which is by no means a bad thing. I feel beyond blessed to have a family who is supportive enough to make sure I receive an education. But coming from a family where your grandmother and grandfather are engineers and so is your dad, and uncles - yea, there's a little pressure. But the pressure came more or less from knowing that your grandma fought tooth and nail to be a woman with a degree. Not to mention your dad spending 14 years in college because he had a family and two jobs. How could I disappoint them? What was my excuse? I had nothing stopping me. 

A lot happened in between my junior and senior year. I had my first real heart break, realized that people will disappoint you and regained my faith in God. The summer was sprinkled with mini panic attacks about my future. Again, lots of tears. 

Senior year is about 1/3 finished. This fact absolutely terrifies me. The rest remains to be unseen, which is totally scary, amazing and perfect. 

With you, I can.

Many times we would have ourselves believe that our accomplishments are ours and ours alone. This is simply not true. I look around at what I have and all that I've accomplished so far in my short life, and there's no way I did it by myself.

Thank you's and just recognitions too often go unsaid. But I would like to take the time right now to express my appreciation for all the people who I am lucky enough to call my friends, family, co-workers, peers and mentors.

I owe my parents more than I could ever pay back. They stand beside me like two great pillars to lean on when I feel as though I may fall. Never wavering nor faltering at any adversity that came my way. Even with their strong exterior they looked upon my decisions with kind and understanding eyes, always willing to let me pave my own way. I'm blessed to have the benefit of not only being raised by them but being raised with manners, morals and high expectations for myself and future. Rarely did things come easy in that household; but rarely are the things worth doing ever easy. Life has been easier because of the values they have instilled in me and that is something to be thankful for.

Along with my parents, I have the most amazing set of peers and co-workers who I can call friends as well. After moving 200 miles from the only place I had ever called home, these people took me in and gave me the opportunity to have two homes. I am eternally grateful for this. I look to them for inspiration, comfort and wisdom and they never cease to amaze me with all they have to offer.

I'm not sure if a simply thanks is thanks enough but it is all I have. So, from the bottom of my heart, thank you.

"A good character is the best tombstone. Those who loved you and were helped by you will remember you when forget-me-nots have withered. Carve your name on hearts, not on marble."

Cha Cha Changes

The more time I spend on this earth the more I come to realize that everything changes; seasons, people, fashion and technology. I am not the same person I was 3 months ago and I may not be the same person in 3 days. There are many variables that affect the people we become; and with each change I encounter (mainly the changes I view negatively) people say "things happen for a reason." Well I'm ready to hear the reason. Because I am human, I suffer from a fatal flaw: impatience. Along with impatience humanity also brings us the option of choosing. We can choose to be sad, we can choose to be depressed and we can choose to mope around. Or, we can choose to see the rainbow that comes after a storm. If we didn't have bad days, would the good days really be that good?

"The soul would have no rainbow if the eyes had no tears"

Spring Sprang Sprung!

Yesterday was the last day of classes for me as a junior at Texas State University :D

Summer is quickly approaching and I find myself having mini panic attacks when I think about deciding to apply for graduate school or jump straight in to the real world next May. I am reminded, however, that God would not give me more than I can handle; I just wish sometimes he did not trust me with so much.

Thankfully, I get to be distracted by the BEAUTIFUL San Marcos, TX rivers and hill country. I sometimes forget, as most of us do from time to time, how lucky I am to be living the life I have. Today I will count my blessings; I have my health, family that sticks by me, friends that have proven their loyalty countless times, the opportunity to continue my education, and an amazing shiny, new boyfriend who is the cherry that tops the list. This list is a great one. One that I am lucky to have. I wish I could find better words to show my appreciation for all that I have; but all that I can say is, thank you.

Today I will also make a vow to do my best to stop looking at what everyone else has as a measurement of success and start looking at all that I have.

Happy Valentine's Day

Hello love doves,

I hope everyone had an amazing Valentine's Day. More importantly, I hope no hearts were bitter, because that is the antithesis for this day. As a single lady, (now put your hands up! haha) yesterday I was reminded that I don't have to have a significant other to be in love. I am madly in love with my friends; they have been there for me in ways, a year ago, I couldn't imagine were possible! I am forever grateful for them, probably more than they will ever know. I am also loving school and my organizations. I feel like I'm growing up with every project I take on, and I strengthen my independence with every day. With this independence comes an illogical need to be with my parents and hold onto them as long as I can. My parents, highschool sweethearts, will be married for 31 years this February 24. They have instilled in me what REAL love is. "It's not easy" my dad says constantly. I am amazed with every day how pure their love is and it reminds me of the possibilities that are still out there for me. It is because of this, my parents; friends and life, that I genuinely say to you, Happy Valentine's Day!